Sensible Money: 5 ways to deal with your $$$

Those of you who know me personally have been waiting for me to put this post up?

“Susan, you work in finance. Why don’t you make your blog about personal finances?”  I’ll tell you why.

1. I am not a financial advisor to individuals, and I have no certifications, like a CFP.  I work with large institutional clients who are supposed to be sophisticated investors.
2. I don’t physically manage anyone else’s money, but my own.  I am not sure I even do that all that well.
3. This world is crazy volatile and I think it is extremely difficult to recommend anything with certainty.

However, I like money.  I want to keep what I have and get some more.  But I don’t need it dominate my life.  So I streamlined all the advice I’ve ever received and cobbled it together with my 34 years of life experience to bring you these 5 sensible ways to deal with your $$$$:

1. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your money.   Take suggestions and advice.  Do not take direction.  Just remember, to use a Bush-ism, you’re the decider and even if you’re paying someone for advice you’re still the one to blame if things don’t work out.  And if someone else is managing your money, make sure you know what you’re paying.  Is it an upfront management fee?  If so, how much is it?
2. Do hunt for sneaky and costly habits.  I used to think the easy saving tips, like “bring your lunch to work” or “skip the daily latte” were insignificant.  Could saving $5/day for something I otherwise really enjoyed really make a meaningful difference?  Depending on your goals, it may.  If you actually spend $4/day on a fancy coffee during the week, then, yes, you will save $20/week and $1000/year.
3. Do listen to your grandma or any other person who was born during the Depression.  This generation focused on needs, not wants and had the responsibility of caring for multiple generations at once.  Usually, they had a lot of mouths to feed and had to learn to stretch a buck.  My grandmother has found a way to be both sensible and generous with her money.  If you don’t have your own octogenarian to talk to, send me a note.  I’ll have Grandma Clara get back to you.
4. Do whatever it takes to sleep well at night.  This idea really goes beyond just money because worrying only creates internal action (stress) rather than external action (solving problems).  Are you losing sleep because of your debt?  Then refinance, consolidate or try to pay it down.  Are you losing sleep because you’re not getting as much as you want?  Then scale your expectations.  You need food, shelter and to care for your family.  You don’t need expensive meals out, McMansions and ridiculous vacations.  Are you worried about retirement?  Then go back to point #2 and look for money-sucking habits to break.
5. Do treat your money like your best employee.  Make sure your money is working hard for you.  Don’t be a micromanager or an overbearing boss, though.  If you stand right behind it and watch every little thing it does it’s not going to perform as expected.  When you invest your money, it’s tempting to watch the price of your stock move daily or even hourly.  You’ll go crazy doing this.  If you’re investing it for the day and the day only, by all means, watch it like a hawk.  However, you’re likely investing for the longer term.  So just check in quarterly.  It will keep you from letting your emotions take over.

So, I know the next question is – “How do you deal with your money?”

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Like my life, I have moments of success and a lot of average moments, but I think over the long run it will yield above-average results.  So here’s how I stack up against the 5 tips from above:

1. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your money. I work in finance and am heavily influenced by others’ opinions.  After Lehman failed, everyone got really dark and started shorting the market.  I hopped in on that and made good money, but it was risky.  I am not sure I understood exactly how the ETFs that allow shorting worked (ie SKF, SDS).  I also got greedy and lost some…A year ago, it was the gold trade that everyone was doing.  I’m on the fence with gold….probably pulling the trigger soon, though.  I don’t invest in managed funds and prefer to pick my own stocks and other investments.
2. Do hunt for sneaky and costly habits.  I recently started bringing my lunch mainly because the lunch options around my new office stink.  However, I noticed that a) I tend to bring smaller portions and healthier options than what I would buy and b) I’m saving at least $5 day.  I used to pay about $10/day for some big salad, now I spend $10/week on fresh vegetables, make my salad at home and top it with leftover grilled meat from last night’s dinner.  There’s always room for improvement here.  It seems like every bill is stuffed with add-on features I should reevaluate (ie cable, cell phone).
3. Do listen to your grandma or any other person who was born during the Depression.  I’m a saver – thanks to my father, who was born during the Depression.  He had me investing my babysitting money into CDs at the age of 14.  It was a great habit to get into and I kept it up throughout my life and feel really good about what I have saved for retirement so far.
4. Do whatever it takes to sleep well at night.  This is, by far, my biggest weakness.  I am prone to the “what-if loop”.

   What if my husband loses his job?
   What if our son needs a private school education?
   What if something happens to my mother or his father?
   What if I get pregnant with quadruplets?
   What if I had invested had not invested in  solar panel stocks?

   Any computer programmer will tell you that the only way out of a loop is to write an exit statement….so I let myself ride the loop for a bit, then I write an exit statement that takes me back to the present.

   For me, sleeping well comes down to minimizing debt and having ample liquidity.  The only debt we have is our mortgage, and we have at least enough cash to cover 6 months of expenses.  Could we use some of that to take some super nice vacations?  Yes, but it wouldn’t be worth it because then I’d be sleepless in a $400/night hotel room instead of my own bed.

5. Don’t peek. I’m okay on this.  I don’t want to have to peek a lot, so I really like high-dividend stocks like Duke Energy and AT&T because they are less volatile and have performed well recently.  Traditional investment advice would have me invested more in growth stocks because I’m young, but I’m a bit of a chicken.  I get emotional with the volatility of growth stocks, so I save those for the retirement fund where I don’t trade as frequently.

I try to take the sensible approach to life’s problems and have found the above 5 points are simple enough to use on a regular basis.   However, it doesn’t cover all scenarios and circumstances.  Please share your thoughts, questions and insight!

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10 Random Facts about Randomness

This might sound strange coming from someone who is a born planner (See this post), but over the years I have developed a taste for leaving things to chance or opening the door for randomness.

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “random” is:

lacking a definite plan, purpose or pattern

I am not alone.  Most of us over plan our lives and get upset when things veer off course.  Perhaps, randomness is unavoidable and should be enjoyed as a critical part of life.

So here are 10 Random Facts about Randomness:

1. Online dictionaries are using social media and its concepts. When you look up a word you can find the “popularity” of that word and you can share where you’ve “Seen and Heard” the word with other people through your Facebook account.  Try looking up “random”  at www.merriam-webster.com where you will find that “random” is in the bottom 40% of searches on its site.  Also, there are 7 Facebook comments about the word.                                                                                             

2. Geek alert!  Random number generation is used for things like lottery winnings and slot machine payouts and simulating results for forecasting models in finance.  You can try it out yourself in Excel, using the RAND function. 
3. The “random walk hypothesis“is a theory that stock prices cannot be predicted.  Think about that next time you pay a financial advisor or money manager.  See the chart below for the daily closing price for the Dow Jones Industrial Average.
4. Randomness levels the playing field in leisure games, particularly games using dice.  People of different ages can have fun together without worrying about who is smarter or more clever.  Check out our family’s favorite game of chance, Farkle:
5. “Fooled by Randomness“ is a book by Nassim Taleb, a professor, author and investor, who has dedicated his life to luck and randomness.  His theory is that humans are unaware of how much randomness there is in the world and that those who make money in the markets are just lucky, not insightful.

   

6.  Random music moments can trigger nostalgia and/or make new memories.  In a world where everyone has an iPad, iPhone or other portable music player, we leave very little to chance when it comes to rocking out.  However, listening to the random radio can be a great way to hear songs you had forgotten about (The Proclaimers’ “500 miles”) and that trigger a memory to forgotten times (oh early ’90s…).

 The random radio is also good for introducing you to new songs or artists.  Isn’t that why we’re all singing Gotye’s “Somebody”…

7.  Randomness creates more interesting stories.  Try recalling a great vacation.  Was it so wonderful because you did everything you planned to do?  Perhaps you remember taking an aimless stroll in an unfamiliar city or meeting another couple while getting rained out of your planned activity.  I remember all the times we got lost more than all the times we followed the directions exactly.

8.  Play:children as randomness:adults.  The definition of play sounds awfully similar to random:  as a verb “to play” is to move freely or move aimlessly about.  As children, playtime is encouraged because it enables the child to develop creativity and imagination.  As adults, randomness may be the ticket to finding inspiration and creativity and, ultimately, to more productivity.

9.  People who live random lives are also known as Bohemians, hipsters, slackers, spontaneous people or fun people.   I wonder if these random people ever get a kick out of brief moments of planning and organization like us planners get a kick out of randomness??

10.  My mother used to have a notepad that said at the top, “If you want to make God laugh, make plans.”  So maybe when we experience the Joy of Randomness it’s not so random and part of a bigger plan…

So whether you like it or not, randomness is everywhere.  Put the planner down and turn off the GPS for a bit.  You might as well embrace it and let life take its natural course…

“Backstory” – the perfect game for Memorial Day traveling

Traveling for the long weekend?  Anticipate waiting in traffic or to board a plane?  Why not take a break from staring into your mobile device or tablet and find your entertainment in the actual world and try playing a game of “Backstory”.  It’s a game that requires no batteries and is appropriate for all ages.  You can play it by yourself or even better, with your family.

We started playing “Backstory” when we were young and unmarried hanging out in NYC (mostly in restaurants and bars).  We were always on the lookout for celebrities, but often let down.  However, there were some fake-out moments.

When we saw celebrity look-alikes, we deemed them “Fake (celebrity name)”.  For example, ultra-skinny, long-faced girl with girly hair was “Fake Sarah Jessica Parker” or middle-aged man who looked like a scraggly drunk with blond hair was “Fake Nick Nolte” – actually, I think that was just Gary Busey that time…

Anyway, even in stylish NYC not everyone looks like a celebrity, so when we didn’t spot a celebrity or a fake celebrity, we wouldn’t let the fun end.  We came up with the “Backstory”for these ordinary folks, gave them names, developed a small plot line and in 5 or 10 minutes would create a story nearly as compelling as the average sitcom.

You, too, can get in on the fun.  Why not try playing “Backstory” on this Memorial Day weekend?

“Backstory” works like this:

• Observe a stranger and then make them into a character complete with a “Backstory”.
• Put a small plot line together that explains how they got here and where they’re going.
• Determine whether they are married or single, fun or serious, in a good mood or a bad mood.
• Speculate as to what kind of relationship that person has with the person or people they are with – are they lovers, friends, coworkers, etc?

If you’re playing with others you can:

•  Each take a turn adding an attribute to your character or
•  Each take a person in a group and develop you characters separately then come up with the plot together

It can be really fun, but there are some rules:

1. Don’t stare for too long,that’s just creepy
2. Don’t judge the people, this is not about stereotyping or critiquing another person’s clothing.
3. Don’t tell the people that you were staring at them and making up a story….that game is called, “Stalker” and no one likes that game…

For example, while on our Honeymoon in Tahiti, we found these two strangers:

Together we decided that she was a woman named “Marjorie” who had been married to “Phil” for 35 years.  They lived in Canada and had a mutual love for all things fruity.  In fact, Phil was a well-known fruit distributor in their hometown.  They had saved a small portion of Phil’s bonus every year for the last 20 so they could take a fabulous trip with their family.  However, when their son, Tyler, got fired again for looking at dirty pictures at work, they decided to ditch the family, buy some fabulous resort clothing and fly first class to Tahiti.  So far, they were very pleased with their change in vacation plans.  Marjorie was looking forward to shopping for black pearls in the town square tomorrow.  Phil was looking forward to the nightly show at the hotel and watching those half-dressed Polynesian women shake it again…

We may have broken rule # 2 in that particular “Backstory”….oops.  We couldn’t help ourselves…

By the way, “Backstory” can also be an ongoing game. It can make an otherwise dull daily commute into a quick and fun little ride.  I see the same commuters everyday on my 40 minute train ride and actually know very few of them.  They have no idea that I know each one of their “Backstories”…

It would be awesome to hear what kind of “Backstory” games you all come up with?  Please share!

Create your own magazine or newspaper

I am on an ongoing quest to make technology my friend and not my foe (see Techs and Balances).  Lately, my favorite technology friend-maker is Flipboard.

I’m seriously late to the game on this one.  Apple named it App of the Year….in 2010, and Time proclaimed it one of the Top 50 Innovations…once again, in 2010.

So I’m 2 years behind?!  Whatever…in my everyday life, I couldn’t find one person I know who was already using Flipboard.  So either we’re all collectively living in the dark or it’s just not mainstream, yet.  Well, as I promised you, when I find something incredibly sensible and useful, I will share.

What is it?

It is a social media and news aggregator that puts all the stuff you already like to read and put it into a pretty format.  In fact, that pretty format looks remarkably like a magazine complete with “flippable” pages.  So you can basically be your own magazine editor, which always sounded like a pretty cool job to me.

How does it work?

You create a Flipboard account and sync it to social media (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc) and then you add categories (News, Recipes, Lifestyle, etc).  Flipboard puts it all together so that you can access all of this content in one graphically pleasing spot.  Flipboard saves you from having to visit multiple sites and is ten times better than just using “bookmarks”or “favorites” on your web browser.

In the old days of “favorites” or “bookmarks” you had to do all the work by individually visiting the sites you liked.  Now, Flipboard brings the content of your chosen sites and/or categories and brings it to you, in addition to providing you other content it thinks you may be interested in.  I like things that do work for me.

Each category or source is displayed as a pretty little box on your Flipboard pages (so far you only get 2 pages).  You can “flip” the pages like a real magazine, and you can even save an article to read later by using the ReadItLater option (more on this below).

What devices is Flipboard compatible with?

 

iPad and iPhone.  Coming to Android soon.  Not sure if it is coming to Kindle.

 

Are there are other apps like this?

RSS:  “Really simple syndication” is a way to follow blogs or sites, similar to the bookmark concept, but it pulls the information together in a standard simple text format without all the pretty images and layouts.  Most sites now have an icon called a “chicklet” that looks like this:  .  Clicking on this button will let you subscribe to get updates on when there is new content on that site.  These subscribed updates are typically called feeds.  To access your feeds, you’ll need an RSS aggregator or feed reader.  Such as…

Google Reader:  If you have a Google account, you can sign up for Google Reader which will aggregate your RSS Feeds based on when each is updated.  Unlike Flipboard, it doesn’t add any other things for you to read and the layout is very basic.

Zite:    This app populates your Zite page with content it thinks you would like based on what you’ve already put into your Google Reader and what kind of Twitter feeds you subscribe to.  If you don’t subscribe to these things, Zite will still let you setup an account, and you can manually choose which categories you want to follow.

Zite uses a special algorithm to figure out what content you’d like, and then delivers that to you, as well.

One advantage Zite has over Flipboard is that it puts the original article in its entirety in the app, while Flipboard often makes you read the rest of the article in a browser.  The layout is prettier than Google Reader, but not as flashy as Flipboard.

GoogleCurrents:  this is Google Reader’s attempt to be more magazine-like.  Like Flipboard, you can sync with social media, but it doesn’t really support Facebook choosing instead to try to focus on and push Google+.

There is also Pulse, which is similar to Flipboard.  I haven’t downloaded this, so I can’t really opine on it, but it seems to be the 3rd most-liked news-aggregator based on my informal internet research.

What if I see something I want to read but I don’t have time to read it now?

Flipboard lets you opt to “Read it Later” using either Instapaper or Pocket (aka Read it Later).

Both of these are services that enable you to save web content in one area for you to read it later.  Once saved, you can login to these services and read your saved material even without an internet connection.  Both of these are great, not just for Flipboard, but for any web browsing.

Can I make SensibleSusan a Category in Flipboard?

Absolutely!  In Flipboard, there’s a red ribbon in the upper right hand corner than lets you add sources.  You can type “http://sensiblesusan.com/feed/” into the Search field and SensibleSusan.com should pop up.  Click on my blog and it will come up in Flipboard.  There will be a button on the upper left that says “Add”.  Click this and you will have added SensibleSusan to your Flipboard.

In addition, if you want the RSS Feed to access through some other reader, just click on the RSS button on the sidebar to the right of this site.

What are the limitations?

Flipboard is only available on iPad, iPhone and Android as of now.  It would be great it there was a desktop version, as well.

Bottom Line:

Google Reader is the easiest way to aggregate RSS feeds but it looks the least exciting since all feeds are converted to plain text.

Zite makes your life easier by bringing content to you and putting it into a newspaper-like format.

Flipboard also makes life easier by bringing content to you, but it incorporates social media, too and looks more like a magazine.

Personally, I like to use Flipboard to read mostly fun, image-driven content and Zite to read news.  In other words, Flipboard is my magazine and Zite is my newspaper.

I have only presented a handful of the options out there.  I’m curious to know what you’re using that you think is great  – please share!

*Oh, and in case I didn’t make it clear enough above, please make sure to sign up for your SensibleSusan updates either through email  or RSS (see the sidebar where you can put in your email address or click my chicklet).

Munch on this: Value and Brussel sprouts

So, it’s been 3 weeks since last blog post.  I’ve suffered a bit of “blog block”.  There were all sorts of ideas swirling around in my head, but nothing screamed – “write it down!  share it with the world!”.  So, I wrote down a few draft posts on various topics – the economy, politics, manners, current events and food,  but none of them seemed blog-worthy.   I wondered whether anyone would actually value my thoughts?

In fact, “value” was the only common thread across my ideas.  There were a number of recent events that was shaking up how my inner-geek determined value.  I was baffled, befuddled and bewildered by the following:

Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” - An anonymous buyer ponied up $120 million for a painting, Edvard Munch’s “Scream” at an auction at Sotheby’s last week setting a new record in the art world.  It is very hard to imagine having that kind of money, much less spending it on one single painting.  By the way, the subject of the painting is highly debatable.  What is the hairless figure in the painting screaming about?  Perhaps it’s the overvalued valuations in the tech-company/social-media sector….

Facebook IPO   - Facebook started marketing its IPO and the company is being valued close to $100 billion.  I’ve never paid a dime to Facebook, and I find it hard to fathom how one generates that number based on advertising revenue.  Although I do think Mark Zuckerburg is a genius for convincing people they are getting something for free when, in fact, they are giving away a lot of things about themselves for free to companies to use to sell them more stuff…

“Fifty Shades of Grey”  - Why is the author of “Fifty Shades of Grey” so successful when there have been hundreds of similar or better authors generating similar fare for years?  Are women so undersexed that this tawdry novel can excite them?  Or is it the fact that women can now read whatever book they like without anyone knowing because of e-readers?  And, I’m not exaggerating when I say this, every single woman I sit next to on the train or subway thinks she is “secretly” reading this book, but I know.  Without moving an inch or even turning my head, I can slide my eye and find “Fifty Shades…” atop their Nook Kindle, etc.  By the way – I did read the book, and yes, it was on my Kindle!  Did you see SNL’s take on this?  See below clip:

None of my thoughts or musings seemed “valuable” enough to share compared to these hyperbolic valuations or “hyperbolations”, if you will.  I realize that efficient markets determine value at the intersection of supply and demand.  That’s why in limited supply markets, like original Munch art, demand is the driving force behind value.  In my own market, the blog, I had an imbalance of supply (my musings) and an unclear picture of demand (what the readers want).

So one night we were cooking dinner.  It was nothing fancy, just a standard weeknight meal to share with our small family.  Then, it hit me – every blog post doesn’t have to be a complete essay or strong viewpoint.   It doesn’t have to be a certain length.  It doesn’t have to be as valuable as a Munch painting, an IPO or even highly popular mommy porn!

So I looked down at the humble little Brussel sprout I was cleaning and thought, “share this recipe”.  ”Recipe” and “Food” are too of the highest topics in demand on the web, why shouldn’t I be a supplier into that market?  Munch on this world!

So, I know what you’re thinking – “not another food blog!?”  No, it’s not another food blog, but this is a blog about finding sensible solutions to everyday life.  I don’t know about your little world, but food takes up a pretty big part of mine.  I like to eat.  I like to cook.  I value food, a lot.

And now, I’d like to start sharing our recipes.  In case you didn’t notice, Sensible Susan looks a little bit different, and hopefully better.  I’ve added categories at the top of the page, to make it easier to find posts, and I added a new one for Recipes.

I’m going to borrow Rachel Ray’s disclaimer and firmly state:  I AM NOT A CHEF.  I AM  COOK.  No one pays me to cook, so these recipes have only been tried out by friends and family.   Each recipe had its origins elsewhere, so I will include the original source, if applicable.

So, without further adieu, I’m sharing my first recipe, it’s quick, easy and tasty enough to make it into the weekly rotation on a regular basis.

This recipe is like our marriage:  it’s the union of a slightly bitter thing and a overly sweet thing that has much broader appeal when combined….

3-2-3 Brussel Sprouts:  

*The name refers to how long to saute at each step.

Original Source:  Cooking Light September 2007

Ingredients:

1 lb Brussel sprouts

Butter

3 Garlic cloves

Oh, and don’t forget the best part:  honey

Directions:

1. Melt 1 T butter in  large non-stick skillet over med-high heat.
2. Add 1 lb quartered trimmed Brussel sprouts, 1/4 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp pepper and saute 3 mins.
3. Add 3 thinly sliced garlic cloves (I use minced garlic out of a jar) and saute 2 more mins until browned.
4. Add 3 T water, cover and cook 3 mins or until sprouts are tender.
5. Take off heat and drizzle w/ 1 T honey

Toss and serve!

Fancy-schmancy variation:

- add cooked, crumbled bacon or pancetta

- better yet, cook the bacon or pancetta, take it out of the pan and cook the brussels in the pan with the grease instead of butter (follow rest of recipe above)

Mother Earth and the Silver Lining

Perhaps I have been accused in the past of being pessimistic, but I think I am practical – sensible, really.

I hate when people tell me to think positive or that things will always work out.  How do they know?  Last time I checked, there are always thousands of reasons why plans get derailed or goals don’t get achieved.  There’s a whole list of phrases that really bother me:

• Look on the bright side.
  • I tried, but I got blinded and couldn’t walk or think straight afterwards.
• There’s always a silver lining.
  • Really, when I look up at the clouds in the sky, the lining just looks gray to me.
• You just have to believe in yourself.
  • Sure.  I used to believe in Santa  Claus and the Easter Bunny, too.
• Things have a way of working out
  • For whom?  Me?  I think it’s really 50/50 at best.  In what world is 50% winning??

My husband has been telling me to think positive.  My coworker tells me, if you wake up and think things are going to happen they will.  And the books!!  Don’t get me started on the plethora of books….

You mean all I have to do is just wake up think “I’m going to positive now!  Things will happen!”??  Let me tell you, my  negative sensible thinking has been going on for a while.  I have proof.

Yesterday was Earth Day.  You see, over twenty years ago I wrote on this topic.  The essay was dire and dark enough for the local paper to run it.  So to prove how far I have to go from myself to becoming a super-positive person, I’m sharing with you my “Mother Earth” essay I wrote as a 12-year-old.  See below:

Greensboro News & Record, Sunday, Nov 11, 1990

What will our Mother Earth look like 100 years from now?  She’ll be very, very ill, for one thing. Her surface probably will be very dried out and her beautiful features will be dead or dying.  Don’t expect all her limbs to be there.  She and her children will be tired and worn. Her children will be wearing gas masks and oxygen tanks because of all the chemicals in the air.  All clothing will be cool and light since the ozone layer has vanished and it has let extreme heat come in. This is also a cause for wearing sunglasses.  Her children will have to wear sunscreen to protect their skin.  Food will be scarce because all of the crops will have died. In 100 years don’t expect life to be fun or comfortable, we’ll be living dead.  So be kind to Earth, our mother.

Susan

Grade 7

Believe it or not, I was a happy kid.   I really don’t know where these dark thoughts from, and I can assure you that if I ever laid awake at night worrying it was about boys and gossip – not the environment.

So far, almost 22 years have gone by, and I think a lot of Mother Earth’s beautiful features are thriving and most people are surviving just fine without gas masks and oxygen tanks.  Although goofy weather events, including an incredible warm winter here in the Northeast, seem to be telling us something…

My concern for the next 78 years has less to do with the ozone layer and more to do with the economic environment – but that’s a different post…

So, 22 years later, I’m trying to be more positive – really, I am.

• I don’t worry about money every second of the day – just a few hours
• I don’t worry about what people think about me – all the time
• I am trying not to obsess about everything being perfect all the time

I’m trying to be sunny.  In fact, someone awarded my the Sunshine Award a couple of weeks ago by TrishaDM.

 

The blogging award comes with some rules about sharing some information about yourself and mentioning/nominating other blogs.  I’ll get to all that soon.  Right now, I’ve taken this Sunshine award as a directive  – so, yes, I will add more sunshine.  And, I vow, that my next published writing will be more upbeat and at least written in a consistent tense (I can’t overlook all flaws now…).

By the way, I do believe there is some merit to these self-help books I mentioned above.  It would be hypocritical of me to eschew double negatives in writing and then permit myself to be doubly negative about positive-thinking books….

Full disclosure – the only book of the bunch I read was “The Power of Now”, which was a gift from my Aunt Sherry who was a generous and fun-loving woman bright enough to light up any room.  She is truly missed.  So I think it’s about time I reread that book, which is available free as a PDF here.  I’m positively overdue for rereading it….

“Gimme Dat Trophy” – 3 reasons why school didn’t prepare me for life

I wonder if our education system really prepared me for the real world.  3 things that bother me:

1. Trophies for participation.
2. The grading system  – “A”, “B”, “C” and “D” are all good enough to get to the next grade.
3. Everyone gets to the next level the same way – Everyone has to pass grades 9, 10 and 11 before they get to grade 12.

Gimme dat Trophy

In  my mother’s house, there’s a vast collection of small, medium and large gold trophies with little girls in action.  They’re swimming, holding a bat and getting ready to shoot a free throw.  There’s also a box of multicolored ribbons, a binder of Certificates of Excellence and the occasional newspaper article mentioning my name.

Sounds impressive, right?  It’s an illusion.  It’s years of “awards” for participation, for showing up and for not quitting.  Some kids collected bugs, stuffed animals or comic books.  Me?  I collected awards.  My collection hasn’t had a new addition in a really long time…

It takes a lot of drive, determination and passion to be a winner and, often, a lot of failed attempts.   As a kid, I wasn’t competing out of passion.  I was competing to win a trophy – a plastic, gold-colored dust-collector.

“Gimme dat trophy….”  was the mindset.

In my head this mantra is set to the tune of “Gimme Dat Oscar”, a gangsta rap skit from Mad TV.  They did a spoof on Forrest Whitaker’s nomination for the Oscar in 2006 for his role as Idi Amin in “The Last King of Scotland”.  Hysterical clip – check it out:

I fall somewhere in between Generation X and Generation Y, which apparently, is also called the “Trophy Generation”.  Both Ron Alsop and Bruce Tulgan have written books using this term to descibe children who are so used to being awarded that they may be ill-prepared to excel in the corporate environment.

 

The Grading System

In school, there are 5 grades:  “A”, “B”, “C”, “D” and “F”.  The first 4 are all considered passing grades.  All you have to do is not get an “F” to get to the next grade.

Of course, everyone knows that you have to get the higher grades to be college-eligible, but, nonetheless, you can still be a high school graduate without ever doing your “best” work.

In the real world, the only grades that count are “A+” and “C”.  To get a promotion you have to be the best of the best or an ”A+”.  Even if you’re slightly above average, it counts for nothing.  You get little recognition and seldom get promoted.  To make sure you get to keep your job you have to be at least “C” or average.  Anything less than that and you’re considered a failure and will likely end up on the chopping block.

There has been a lot of debate among educators and parents on this very topic.  I just think that the focus should be on the joy of learning and less on the need to get perfect grades.

Everyone rises at the same pace

Each child must spend one year at each grade and cannot skip ahead.  Occasionally, some smarty pants will get to skip a grade, but everyone will know why.  “He got a 1600 on the SAT in 7th grade!”

In the real world, some people get promoted multiple steps without any explanation at all.  Sometimes it is obviously for merit, but other times, it may just be a matter of being in the right spot at the right time.

I don’t think it makes sense to accelerate children through school because they need to be mature before facing the real world.  However, somewhere in the curriculum someone should explain that success may come sooner for some than others and that the only real measure of success should be your own metric.

It’s not that bad.  Just gimme dat trophy!

I am being a bit facetious here.  I’m doing just fine in the real world.  And don’t let my grammatically incorrect blog post title fool you -  I did very well in school.  Obviously, I learned enough to use big words like “facetious”, which is a word I use frequently in the real world…

I also know that children are sensitive and need positive reinforcement.   That’s the thing  – I am still sensitive and need positive reinforcement.

Trophies for participation and a generous grading system may have let achievement come too easily.   I was a great student and got mostly “A’s” simply because the “A’s” seemed quite attainable.  It’s as though we were given permission to set the bar low – a height that I grew accustomed to.

It has taken me a long time to realize that really successful people keep setting the bar higher for themselves without anyone setting it for them and that true ambition and drive propels one toward reaching goals – not recognition.

Disclaimer:  I am fully aware that my tune will likely change when my son is in school and particpating in sports and activities.  I’ll want that little bugger to feel good about himself and get as many gold dust-collectors that make him happy…